The Twilight Zone
by Rose Royce
Summary: Within the bounds of imagination is a dimension of sight, sound, thought, and doggyeared halfdemons. Enter the mysterious world of THE TWILIGHT ZONE. [Cowritten by Marusha]


Do you like the Twilight Zone?

I like the Twilight Zone. Especially all the good one's like this parodied episode down under this bar! I expect plenty of reviews form this one...if not...then...

SCREW YOU!

I mean, this is co-written by Maru-sha so it SUPPOSED to be good.

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_Japan…city unknown, year classified. In this particular setting, we are introduced to a monster. Five years old, purple eyes, bad temper. If you ever see this monster, you better be prepared to think good thoughts about him, have compliments in handy and gifts in hand, because if you don't…you might as well brace yourself for the worst. In this particular setting, one man is about to witness the capabilities of this monster. This man, known to most as the "Scum of the Earth" is about to enter…_

**THE TWILIGHT ZONE**

(_dun dun duuuuuuun)_

"Dammit, I'm flat broke and my Mother says I need to get a job…" Naraku grumbled, trudging down the dirt road going nowhere. "Pssh, a job…as if I need one. But, I do need some scratch for some cocaine…"

_FWOOSH!_

From out of the blue, a gust of wind spun around a grey piece of paper and made it fly right into his face. Naraku freaked out for second, for some reason thinking the sky was falling, but then simply removed the piece of paper from his face. It was a page from the daily newspaper.

"What the hell?" Naraku said, looking at it. "It's the job ads…fate just HAS to rub it in…" As he continued to walk, he skimmed through the ad.

MAKE $5 AN HOUR!

BE A JANITOR TODAY!

RESUME NOT NEEDED!

"Bull-crap…" Naraku muttered.

YOUR KNOWLEDGE IS NEEDED! SAVE LIVES, DISCOVER NEW THINGS

BIOCHEMISTS NEEDED FOR STEM-CELL RESEARCH

(Must have a college degree and at least a clip-on tie)

"I have a college degree…but I don't want no pussy job! I don't even have a damn clip-on tie!" (A/N: He went to college? And got a degree? What is the world coming to?)

EASIEST JOB EVER!

EVEN A LOSER LIKE YOU CAN DO IT!

BABY-SIT OUR SON!

PAYS $100 AN HOUR!

NOTHING NEEDED BUT LOVE!

(Must be happy…we mean it…really)

"One hundred bucks an hour! SHIT THAT'S A LOT! I'll take it! All I have to do is put the little brat to bed, and that'll leave me to watch TV, drink sake, and earn that cash!" He looked over the ad and followed the directions to the house. Not wondering why they asked for his happiness…don't you think that's creepy people?

And he came to a mansion with a cornfield that was at least fifty feet away from the abode. He didn't have to knock on the door, as soo as he set foot on the doormat that said "WELCOME" there was the child's parents in full view at the open door. Sesshomaru and Kagura, standing right in front of him with this…strangely wide smile spread across their beautiful faces. If their skin was made of clay, their smiles would make the skin crack. But this is irrelevant…

"Welcome, friend!" Sesshomaru said a little too cheerfully. "You are here for the job right?" Sesshomaru led the freaked out half-demon into his mansion.

"Umm, yeah…" Naraku mumbled. He was lead across the foyer and up the stairs. These people must be CRAZY about their son! All over the walls were nothing but pictures and pictures of boy. Him at the park, him at an opera, him at a baseball game. But that's nothing compared to what Naraku really noticed…

"Are you're shoes quacking?" Naraku asked Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru stopped to look down at his feet. He picked up his foot and put it down to make that undeniable authentic duck quack.

"Why, yes!" Sesshomaru said with pride. "Hakudoushi loves it when my shoes quack just as much as I love him!"

"We ALL love him!" Kagura added with glee. "You know, Hakudoushi loves animals, why just the other day he made one of his own! It was a two-headed dragon! It was just lovely!"

"Hakudoushi loves music!"

"Hakudoushi LOVES candy!"

"Hakudoushi LOVES chocolate!"

"ALRIGHT!" Naraku screamed. The loving parents looked at him with another creepy smile. "I mean, where is the little lad?" _'Lad? What the hell?'_

"Why, he's in his room playing with his toys!" Kagura said cheerfully again, she pointed to the white door. "He LOVES his toys!"

"But not as much as we LOVE him!" Sesshomaru proudly stated. He made it loud enough to make sure his son heard. "We are so proud of darling little boy! Aren't we dear?"

"Of course! Who wouldn't love our son?"

'_Not I' _Thought Naraku. "Or course I do too! Well, you two should go now, I have everything under control, NOW GET OUT!" Naraku pushed the down the stairs and to the door. "SEE YOU WHENEVER!" He kicked them out, literally, slammed the door, and hopped on the couch. Naraku grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. He surfed and surfed, but nothing was on.

"Figures," Naraku muttered. "A thousand channels, but nothing to watch."

Then, a horrendous creature made its way from upstairs. Naraku took one look at it and cringed. "GASP!" he gasped. It had the head of gopher, the legs of a frog and the body of a huge snake. "It's...a...gophesnarog!!!" Naraku screamed, throwing everything at his disposal at it. And then it finally kicked the bucket. He grabbed it by the tail and hurled it outside. "Took care of it, yes I did! In your face gophesnarog!!"

"That was my pet" a voice said from the staircase.

"Eh? Another creature to destroy?" Naraku growled, turning around. It was only the little ball of "sunshine", Hakudoushi.

"Oh, it's just a kid…" Naraku muttered, He stooped down to his level and said in this annoying baby said, "Now, now, you little brat. I'm your baby-sitter, and I command you to go back to your room and go to sleep! Understand?"

"You better be nice to me, and you better think nice things about me, or I'll wish you into the Cornfield!" Hakudoushi threatened, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"The Cornfield? Oh, I'm soooooo scarrrrrrrrrrrrrred! WOOOO—"

_POOF! _

Naraku found himself in the middle of a cornfield. With him was Jinenji dressed in farm attire, sitting down with a gardening hoe standing upright.

"Aww, man!" Naraku groaned, stomping on the ground like a baby.

"Howdy, neighbor!" Jinenji greeted in an Osakan accent. "Want some cornbread?"

"NO!" And he ran across the Cornfield and arrived at the house in less than two seconds. (A/N: We mean it. Really. We're not kidding.) When he entered the house, Hakudoushi was smiling smugly at him.

"I don't like you." Hakudoushi said emotionlessly.

"Well…NEWSFLASH YOU LITTLE BASTARD! I don't like you either!"

"You better take that back…or I'll send you back! You better say nice things about me, or I'll wish you to the Cornfield again!"

"I'd like to see you tr—"

_POOF! _

Naraku was sent back to the same exact spot. Jinenji was still sitting down, this time he had a bonfire going and grill set above it.

"Howdy again, neighbor! Want some corn on the cob?"

"NO!" Naraku yelled, taking off back towards the house. Since he was upset, it only took him one second to get back this time. Entering the house, Naraku found Hakudoushi using telekinesis to play with his toy dinosaurs. Hakudoushi turned around; as he let his toys fall to the ground.

"Ok, kid…" Naraku growled, stepping towards him menacingly. "I don't know what your problem is, and I don't care! YOU BETTER SHAPE UP LITTLE BOY! I'M OLDER THAN YOU! I RULE OVER YOU!"

"You're a bad man! You're a very bad man! I hate people who don't like me!"

"You listen to me you little fucker!" He screeched. "You think you can just do whatever you want, huh? Well, I'm gonna teach you to respect your elders!" Naraku then leaped to ward him to strangle him, but of course…

_POOF!_

Naraku found himself back in you-know-where with you-know-who, who had a little picnic going on. A themed picnic to be exact. But this time, more people where there, and even a few animal one would think didn't even exist. They were all eating corn-based meals.

"Got 'wished' here, eh?" One of the picnickers asked in-between bites of Mexican corn-cake. Naraku just growled like a dog.

"These here folks were 'wished' here to my Cornfield, too." Jinenji explained. "Everyone who done got 'wished' here never go back to that demon-seed-boy, so I reckon I just let 'em stay here in my field and feed 'em, yeah."

"I'm going back to give that spawn of Satan a piece of my mind!" Naraku roared (A/N: Spawn of Satan? Look who's talking!)

"Wait, son!" Jinenji said, lightly grabbing onto his vest. "Before you go, want some cream-corn?"

"No."

"Want some corn-cake?"

"No…"

"Want some popcorn?"

"NO—is it buttered?"

"Yep."

"…Okay, then." Naraku ran back to the house…_again_…while eating freshly popped, super-buttery popcorn. This time, he found Hakudoushi watching an R-rated movie…that was in _clay-mation_ of all things.

"Welcome back." Hakudoushi greeted as Naraku swung open the door. He was breathing deeply, his face was red as all outdoors, and you know he was pissed.

"Rough night, yes?" Hakudoushi chuckled.

"…YOU!" Naraku began.

"Me?"

"YOU!" Naraku was about to try to strangle him again until—

"Hakudoushi, sweetie! We're home!" Called the voice of his mother, Kagura. The freakishly happy couple entered the mansion with that patented makes-the-Chersire-cat-look-like-he's-smiling-like-a-normal-person smile. Hakudoushi ran to his mama and she hugged him tightly. He turned his head toward Naraku and gave him an evil smirk.

"Did you have a good time with your baby-sitter?" Sesshomaru asked his son.

"We had a splendid time, father! I want him to baby-sit me all the time!" Hakudoushi replied, with a sinister aura about him and his tone.

"NO WAY, MAN!" Naraku hollered. "I AIN'T BABY-SITTING THAT LITTLE BASTARD!" Sesshomaru and Kagura gasped. Hakudoushi give him a mean look.

"What did you say about me?" Hakudoushi asked, getting down from his mother's embrace.

"You heard me; you're a little snot-nosed, two-faced, bratty MOTHER FUCKER!"

Kagura fainted, and Sesshomaru looked like he wanted to do the same thing. But instead he went up to his son and said into his ear, "Don't let him get to you, son. Please, wish him into the Cornfield. Just wish him into the Cornfield, Hakudoushi"

Hakudoushi turned Naraku into a Jack-in-the-Box, which was quite horrific, and THEN he wished Naraku away, for the very last time. Sesshomaru patted him son's shoulder with praise.

"You did a good deed, son. He wasn't a very good man. You're a good boy. In fact…" Sesshomaru stammered (as Kagura regained consciousness), "you're the greatest kid a father could possibly have."

"Yes," Kagura said, kneeling next to him. "We love you. We will always love everything you do."

Just then, it suddenly it had gotten colder. Outside, millions of little snowflakes fluttered down from the night sky. Sesshomaru and Kagura left Hakudoushi to see it through their window.

"Why, It's only summer!" Sesshomaru stated, gawking at the snow. "Did you make it snow, son?"

Hakudoushi didn't look at him, but just played with his toy dinosaurs. "Yes, father. I wanted it to snow. I don' like the heat."

Sesshomaru felt himself getting angry. "This snow will destroy my corn crops!" Sesshomaru said kind of raising his voice. "The crops will be destroyed, you know that boy—" Kagura had to step in before Sesshomaru went any further with is anger. Sesshomaru calmed down and said, "…It's…it's a good thing you made it snow, son. I couldn't bare the heat, either. Yes, it's wonderful to have you around…to fix things…"

"Yes, Hakudoushi." Kagura added in fear. "It's a good life. It's a good, good, life."

_The Cornfield. A rural prison only known as a punishment for those who oppose the monster we call Hakudoushi. As the snowflakes fall onto this "prison", over one million lives fall with it, except for the farmer Jinenji. Among these lives, was Naraku, who took his opposition too far with Hakudoushi, and ended up with a fate worse than anyone else in the "prison" of corn. A place that could only be found behind a mansion of…_

**THE TWILIGHT ZONE.**


End file.
